This(stand up comedy) ain't really my work,this is my career.Some people have jobs,some people have careers.
我曾没有奇迹，有一份“事情“。我曾在皇后大道那家“红龙虾“（美国闻名连锁餐饮品牌）打工。
I used to have a job. I used to work at Red Lobster.The one on Queens Boulevard.
啥？我给您端过菜是吧？好的。好的。Oh, I served you? Good, good!
不，我是个洗碗工。我的事情就是刷盘子里剩下的虾。这真的是份“事情“。我历来没加过薪，历来没升过职。No, I was a dishwasher. I scrape shrimps and load the plates into the dishwasher.
That was a real job. I never got a raise, never got a promotion.
他们把我放置在后厨。由于我的暴牙其实太丑了。餐厅都是如许的。他们把最丑的人放置在后厨。They kept me in the back becaueI have really fu**ed-up teeth.That's what they do at restaurants.They put the ugliest people in the back.
以是若是你不喜好餐厅前边的办事抹茶粉,员的长相，信赖我，你不想看到后厨的人。。。这就是我当时候真实的“事情“。1989年我尚未靠说脱口秀赚钱。So if you don't like the people in the front, you don't want to see the back.That was my real job. I wasn't telling jokes 1989.
刷盘子太尼玛悲催了。以是若是你有一个奇迹，这是天主保佑你！若是你只有事情，我祝愿你，有一天有一份奇迹。It was scaping fu**ing shrimps, it was killing me.So if you got a career, God Bless You.If you got a job, I hope you got a career one day.
是的。由于当你有一份奇迹，时候永久不敷用。That's right. Cuz when you got a career, there ain't enouhg time.
You got a career, you look at your watch, time just flies.God damn, it's 5:35, damn, I gotta come early tomorrow to work on my project,cuz there ain't enough time when you got a career.
可是当你有的是一份“事情“，时候太-慢-了！一般你看表的时辰是如许事的：“草，才9点零8！“当你有一份“事情“，你乃至都不信赖你的腕表Whenever you look at your watch, like, ah, shit, 9:08.When you got a job, there's TOO MUCH time.You don't even trust the time when you got a job.
（处处问他人）你的表几点？What time you got?
你的表几点？
What yout you got?
你的呢？9点一刻？谁的时候最晚，谁的表最准！
What time you got?9:15? Whoever got the latest time, is the right time.
You ever played the time game with yourself at work?Where you go, I'm not gonnalook at my watch for 2 hours, I'm gonna sit here and scrape these shrimps,